Posted at 9:28 PM 0 comments (+)
My sister mentioned that I never watch my performances. Since she brought it up, I realized it is true. I've never watched a single thing fully even if there were videos on it. My Mom loves to play the videos on TV especially with visitors around while I stay in my room, avoiding any audible sound from the clips. I've never felt comfortable watching and hearing myself on tape. Clearly, it's disturbing to see myself — feels like a doppelgänger nausea, if you'd say it like that — because all the insecurities I have magnify so much it sickens me.

Besides, I think I'd want it that way rather than narcissism taking over.

via Twitter

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