Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thursday Blues
Posted at 9:30 PM
1 comments (+)
I keep forgetting how much pain I bear whenever failures come my way. The tears would come out uncontrollably. These events occur to me occasionally, resulting in a turmoil position. Most of time, I think these failures reflect how much I'm unworthy to live - stupid, ignorant, irresponsible, horrible.
With only my first year in college, I got my first ever failing grade as third term grades were released online two hours ago. It was a very depressing moment. Not only did the repulsive digits 0.0 flashed on my screen, but also the rest of the subjects with grades lower than expected. AY 2011-2012 Term 3 is the shittiest term (in academic state).
I would not waste my time elaborating about it further. After what happened, Marc and Angel Hack Life has lighten my mood.
So I'll be answering some questions from 95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness.
The questions below will help you with this process. Because when it comes to finding meaning in life, asking the right questions is the answer.
1. In one sentence, who are you?
I am a priority-confused teen juggling the deceptive life of business, the spirited existence of theater arts, and the battle between happiness for self and happiness for others.
2. Why do you matter?
I matter because my sisters need me to see how life is both precarious and advantageous.
5. What is missing in your life?
Clarity.
6. What’s been on your mind most lately?
Getting fit, Finishing the yearbook, Being Productive for Summer, Planning out my/Mom's debut, Downloading all seasons of Sweet Valley High
7. Happiness is a ________?
Choice either to please yourself or to those you owe your life to.
8. What stands between you and happiness?
Dream and Survival.
9. What do you need most right now?
Hugs and Pieces of Advice.
10. What does the child inside you long for?
Competency in various aspects.
12. What’s been bothering you lately?
My body fats.
13. What are you scared of?
Failing over and over again while my parents get disappointed at me.
15. What will you never give up on?
Theater arts.
26. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
Get in the Dean's List.
29. What will you never do?
Smoke.
32. What do you sometimes pretend to understand that you really do not?
Love.
33. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self?
I wish that everyone would respect the decisions I make for myself.
34. What worries you most about the future?
I worry that my Mom would get frustrated at me for not following the path she has laid out on me.
35. When you look into the past, what do you miss most?
No pressures, no dramas.
38. What is the biggest challenge you face right now?
Asking for a reconsideration in my ACTPACO grade. If not, getting a 3.0 in my second take to remove my failed ACTPACO grade in my record.
42. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I'm fragile and emotional especially with family matters.
