THS IS KILLING ME! Posted at 11:35 PM 0 comments (+) Since the day I found out Issa is blogging for The One Love, hope sprang up to me. I could talk about all the thoughts that keep running in mind that does not always reach to anyone but me. I could make friends from a simple blog post in a website that is slowly gaining attention. And most importantly, I could help with just a click away.

Just then, this huge stop sign halted my brain from wandering. What if I make a huge ass of myself out there? What if don’t make sense? What if people don’t read what I post? What if people didn’t care? What if…?

All these “what ifs?” kept circling around me and eventually, I ended up having a headache from thinking. I couldn’t think straight.

I didn’t blog to much in the past but with inspiration from my friends, I became a blogger. I remembered the time my Dad bought a DSL and I started to learn so many things from the internet. I made numerous accounts, stalked my crushes and researched on everything I wanted to know. I typed like this, “aaah!! this is so cute!!!... aahhh!! haaaay…” and I thought, “tHiS wAs CuTE!!!”.

Currently, I spot a new blogger who is pretty much familiar, and now I could feel the hope and excitement tingling again.

I don't even think I deserve to be one because my thoughts never connect with one another and it takes time for me to form a simple explanation. What is wrong with me?!

My fingers are forcing me to type a new email for Cassie but something still stops me. What if I send it and I get a reply of either yes or no? What if Cassie says yes and what would my first post be? What would the people think? What would they say?

There goes the ‘what ifs’ again.

It’s nearly midnight and I have to sleep. I haven’t even prepared my things for Swimming class. I don’t know what to do. I’m obviously acting desperate and childish. I just want to make a decision with a simple YES or NO.